


This Is How We Do It (AKA Massu's Lunch Is SRS BSNS)

by imifumei



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment, NewS (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:13:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24724348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imifumei/pseuds/imifumei
Summary: Massu is unhappy. Ryo resorts to dubious methods to bring back his grin.
Relationships: Masuda Takahisa/Nishikido Ryo





	This Is How We Do It (AKA Massu's Lunch Is SRS BSNS)

Originally posted to LiveJournal, 13 Sept 2009.

 **Title:** This Is How We Do It (AKA Massu's Lunch Is SRS BSNS)  
**Pairing:** Massu/Ryo (implied Ryo&various members of Eito, guest appearance by Arashi - so implied . . .everything, it's Arashi.)  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Genre:** RPS, porn, a little(fully resolved by the end)angst, omg!crack  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. Written for fun, not profit.  
**Word Count:** ~4300  
**Summary:** Massu is unhappy. Ryo resorts to dubious methods to bring back his grin.  
**Note:** I basically wrote this cracktastic piece of craziness solely because I love Massu in [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAGKtKX3v2A) video and I figured you'd have to do something fairly heinous to get Massu to pound you that hard. Also, I wanted to porn these two. Everything you see is for the sake of the porn. This should not come as a surprise.

**Edit: Oh, and yes, that is the title of the 80s Dance song by Montell Jordan doubling as my fic title because, well, if Massu can sing something freakishly 80s then I can name a fic after something freakishly 80s. (EDIT: Okay, so Montell Jordan was the 90s. In any case, my point stands.)**

"Can I trust you with this, Ryo-chan?"  
"It really isn't my area of expertise. Maybe Tego-"  
"Don't give me that. I've _watched_ you cheer up Yasuda-kun on a bad day."  
Ryo sincerely doubted that Koyama had watched him, ". . .or Yamapi. . ."  
"It has to be you. You can do it. Just do whatever you would do with Yasuda-kun."  
"Kei-chan, I really don't think that's going to work. . ."  
"Yes it will. I believe in you, Ryo-chan. Do your best. I'll be back in four days. See you then!"  
_Ryo sighed_ , "Sure, have a good trip."  
*click*

"Well shit."

It wasn't that Ryo was opposed to the idea of being in charge of cheering up Massu. It just wasn't usually his job so he wasn't sure how to go about it; and he was absolutely certain that he couldn't use the same methods he, and Maru and Baru, usually used with Yasuda.

It wasn't that Ryo was insensitive to the fact that Massu had not been himself lately. It was distressing and it wasn't that Massu was depressed. If he was depressed, then they could pinpoint what was making him sad and fix it. But he didn't seem sad, per se, just lackluster; which was definitely worse.

Ryo was used to Massu having a little shine on him. His face was usually just as bright as his questionably patterned sweatshirts and scarves, but in the last week or so, he'd been quiet, withdrawn. The dressing room had gotten noticeably more tense without his laughter and if anyone asked him what was wrong he said 'nothing'. Ryo thought the entire situation was really a pain in the ass.

This cheering-up business was Kei-chan's job, damnit. He was good at it, too, but he was filming something on location and his fluffy little heart was too delicate to think about Massu being upset while he was gone so he'd enlisted the help of the most determined member of NewS. Ryo had enough shit to do and there were very few things he hated more than doing other people's jobs for them, but Kei asked, and it was Massu, and it _was_ his group so he grudgingly admitted that it was sort of his job too. Because when Massu's not happy, nobody's happy, and no one else was stepping up so he'd have to be the man, as usual.

Ryo folded his arms over his chest, put on his determined face, and psyched himself up to show the rest of his lazy-ass group how they cheer people up in Osaka.

~~Day One: Observation ~~

Spending time with Ninomiya Kazunari had taught Ryo a thing or two about how to be devious. If he was going to cheer Massu up, he'd need to be clever about it. First, he'd need to determine what was wrong. Nino called this, "the planning stages". Really, it was like spying. Nino's planning stages had been known to last weeks, months, or possibly (no one could be exactly sure) years. Ryo didn't have that long. He'd give it a day.

He got to the jimusho early. He didn't actually have to be in until after lunch, but TegoMasu had stuff to do this morning and he figured he could just work on his newest song until he had actual work to do. He sat down with his guitar and lyrics book. Massu came in shortly after him.

"Ohayou," Ryo offered.  
Massu looked at him blankly for a second then replied, "Yo. You're in early."  
"I'm working on something."  
"Hm."  
The ensuing silence, broken only by Ryo's occasional strumming, lasted for another half-hour until Tegoshi came in and plopped into Massu's lap. "Ohayou, Massu."  
"Ohayou." Massu said, but only with a ghost of his usual smile as he slid Tegoshi right off of his lap and informed him that they needed to get to the sound studio.

Ryo's brows drew together in concern. Massu never shuns Tegoshi's physical affection, or anyone's actually, and it kept happening. Later he ducked out from under Yamapi's hair-ruffling hand and shrugged out of Shige's clap on his shoulder.

When TegoMasu sang, Ryo had discreetly watched from the hallway, Massu only used his mouth, not his usual whole body full of emotion. Ryo frowned and stalked back down the hallway.

Throughout the course of the day he realized that over the years he had gotten used to Massu's little quirks and it was really noticeable when they were gone. In their dance practice, he payed especially close attention to Massu's movements. He tried to pinpoint exactly what was missing. There was less bouncing, his arm motions were not as forceful, his movements were just as precise as always, but without the passion he usually had.

Again, Ryo frowned. While he was distracted, he missed a turn to the left and Tegoshi slammed right into him, toppling them both over into Shige and onto the floor. Tegoshi squeaked, Shige grumbled, Yamapi laughed and called for a quick dinner break. Massu said nothing and strode out of the room. No laugh, no hand-up for his fallen bandmates whom he left in a grunting mass of limbs on the floor. He didn't like this Massu. Ryo was concerned.

But it was watching Massu eat that really pissed Ryo off. Ryo liked people to think of him as a hard-ass but secretly, at least he's pretty sure it's still a secret, Ryo really loves certain things about his friends and coworkers. Things that when he saw them made his heart go all squishy and reaffirmed his belief that the world was a good place to live. Massu eating something delicious was a little spot of joy for Ryo.

So when Massu grabbed a bento on their break, Ryo knew something had to be done. Massu ate as quickly as usual but his eyes were hard, without their sparkle and he just chewed and swallowed, even that seeming angry without the perpetual refrain of "umai~". All of his usual fervor without the usual joy. Ryo's forehead was beginning to ache from having a frown pasted there all day.

He spent his break organizing the information he'd gathered.

1\. Massu was shunning physical affection.  
2\. His singing had lost it's feeling.  
3\. His dancing was notably less genki.  
4\. He wasn't eating properly. (Well, he was eating, just not the way Massus are supposed to eat.)

Something was messing up Massu and now it was personally affecting Ryo's day.

This would not do. Massu was clearly in a funk. When Ryo was in a funk it was usually due to overwork and all it took was one good day to snap him out of it. Ryo formed a plan.

~~Day Two: The way we do it in Osaka~~

People in Osaka are generally more cheerful than people in Tokyo. Ryo had a lot of theories about why this was but among them was the food. The easiest way to make someone's day in Osaka is to give them something delicious to eat. Ryo decided this was the perfect course of action with Massu. He wasn't eating right yesterday, but it could have been that his dinner just wasn't that great, so Ryo would have to give him something that was undeniably delicious.

He couldn't give him gyoza, Massu was very particular about gyoza since he'd mentioned that he loved them and everyone and their brother started giving them to him. Ryo didn't know the best places like Massu did and he wasn't sure that gyoza were a "brighten your day" food. On the other hand, he couldn't think of anyone who didn't like pudding. As an added plus, Ryo thought as he recalled Massu's angry chewing from yesterday, there was no way to eat a pudding angrily.

He stopped at a sweets shop on the way in to the office and picked up a really nice-looking chocolate and strawberry thing for Massu and one for himself so he could say he'd been getting one and thought of Massu. He picked vanilla because he'd end up sharing with Tegoshi and that's what he liked.

Now he just had to figure a way to give it to him without it being weird. He'd have to play it off as much as possible. His chance came around noon when they were waiting for Shige to arrive so they could start working. Pi was napping on the couch and Tegoshi was dancing around and humming. Massu was sitting at the table leafing through a fashion magazine.

Ryo grabbed both puddings from his bag and sat down across from Massu. "Hey, I went to get pudding this morning and I got one for you. Here." He set Massu's confection in front of him and opened his own.

"You bought me a pudding?" Massu looked confused but not happy.  
"Yeah."  
"Why?"  
"It's customary to say 'Thank you'."  
"Oh, sorry, thank you." Massu's response was quiet, and almost completely devoid of tone.  
"Sure, no problem." Ryo flashed his trademark Yellow Ranger grin, which he thought when combined with a free chocolate confection should earn him at least one of Massu's dimples. Instead Massu just toyed with the pudding cup for a second before pulling off the lid and digging in.

Tegoshi skipped over and sat on Ryo's lap. "You brought Massu a pudding and not me?"

"You can share mine." Ryo licked the ivory cream off of the bottom of the spoon and presented the rest of the bite to Tegoshi who ate it a little messily and had to lick the pudding from his upper lip. Ryo caught that strange, and maybe a little weirdly familiar, hard look in Massu's eyes before he looked down at the table, finished his treat in record time and muttered something about going to the bathroom before quietly disappearing out the door leaving Ryo to feed Tegoshi the remainder of what had become Tesshi's vanilla pudding.

Ryo thought that he can't possibly have had any time to taste it if he ate it so fast so he must have missed how delicious it was.

Maybe food wouldn't work after all. Maybe something a little more lasting would do the trick.

~~Day Three: The way they do it in Tokyo~~

Ryo figured he'd try a more thoughtful gift. It's no secret that Massu loves accessories. Given that Tokyo is the fashion capital of Japan and there are as many accessories shops in Shibuya as there are fangirls on Shounen Club, he didn't expect it would take him four hours of late-night shopping to find something suitable for Massu's extensive collection of neckwear.

He'd finally settled on an orange and yellow checked scarf that had pink birds painted on the ends, it reminded him of 'Nantoka Naru sa'. He felt sure that this would get a good reaction. After all, he'd spent four hours picking it out. It damn well better get a reaction.

He presented it to Massu the next day, bleary-eyed from lack of sleep. "I was shopping last night. I thought you would like this."  
Massu took the scarf and looked at Ryo expressionlessly.  
"It reminded me of 'Nantoka Naru sa' so I thought you would like it." Ryo waited for a reaction. Any reaction. "Well?" Ryo prompted.  
"Thanks, Ryo-chan. This is a very thoughtful gift." Massu sounded like some sort of electronic recording; all the words there and none of the meaning.

Ryo just blinked. _That's it?_ , He thought. _That's all? That's all the reaction a surprise gift that looks like it was fucking made specifically for you gets?_ He wanted to blow up at Massu. He wanted to shout, _"What the hell is your problem?! Snap out of it!"_ But he couldn't. Robot-Massu who doesn't enjoy or react to anything was too much for Ryo to process.

Ryo was past being concerned because Kei-chan asked him to be, or because he had a duty to his group. Now it was just between him and Massu. Maybe Tegoshi is said to be the member who most hates to lose, but that's only because he occasionally does, so he knows what it feels like. Ryo does not lose. He refuses to. And he was certainly not going to lose to Massu. He was going to force a reaction. He spent the rest of the day watching Massu for some idea of how to proceed.

What he saw was really fucking annoying: Massu going through the motions quietly. Massu was not usually very talkative, but his actions speak for him. It's his actions that make people feel welcome around him even when he doesn't welcome them himself. Now his actions basically said "Leave me the hell alone." He kept shrugging off Tegoshi. He kept doing the bare minimum of singing and dancing. He did it all like an empty shell with that hard look in his eyes. That look just didn't belong on Massu's face.

Ryo was up half the night trying to figure out something else he could give Massu to make him feel better, get him back to normal. Ryo was quickly tiring of trying to figure out how to cheer Massu up. He wasn't cut out for this. Ryo specialized in messing with people. Yes. That was it.

As long as Ryo had pulled Massu out of his funk by the time Koyama got back, Koyama didn't need to know that he didn't do it using Kei-chan's brand of motherly member ai. He'd use his own brand. He couldn't get a smile out of Massu? Fine. Any reaction at all would have to do. He couldn't get it by giving him things? Fine. He'd get it by taking something away.

Tomorrow, all bets were off.

~~Day Four: The way Ryo does it~~

Ryo woke late and by the time he rushed in to the office it was nearly lunch time. It really burned his ass that he'd been losing sleep over this, but it was more annoying that he'd overslept as a result. With a cap pulled low over his eyes, his messenger bag slung across his back so he could jam both of his hands in his pockets, and his jaw set in a scowl, his face reflected his dark mood as he stalked the hallways of the jimusho on his way to the NewS dressing room. Juniors and staff flinched away from him as he passed. _Excellent_ , he thought, _I'll start a fight with him as quickly as possible and have this shit out_.

As if on cue, when Ryo opened the door to his dressing room, Massu sat down to what looked like a lovely lunch of mackerel sushi. This was exactly the situation he needed. He muttered, "Perfect," and strode over to the table without even setting down his bag or removing his cap. Massu was just cracking his disposable chopsticks apart when Ryo picked up Massu's lunch and popped one piece of sushi into his mouth. Massu looked up at him shocked and, to Ryo's extremely intense satisfaction, royally pissed.

"Umm, Ryo-tan?" Tegoshi looked on in confusion from the other side of the room.

He swallowed the sushi whole ( _fucking disgusting fish, the things I do for my group,_ he thought), grinned the biggest shit-eating grin he could manage and took off at a dead run with the box in his hand.

He stopped at the end of the hall, unsure whether his ploy had worked but less than a second later Ryo heard a clatter from the open dressing room door and Massu's uncharacteristically heated voice shout, "Ryo!". He waited long enough to see Massu step out of the door and took off again listening for Massu's footsteps behind him.

Massu was strong and fit, but Ryo was little and quick, leading Massu on a chase around the building, popping pieces of Massu's slimy sushi in his mouth and narrowly avoiding Massu's grasp. Juniors dodged, staff shouted. Ryo wondered if he'd get in any sort of trouble for this. He was flying down a stairwell with Massu just behind him when he felt his hat torn from his head.

He was darting into Arashi's dressing room shouting "Aniki, help!" when the same hat was whipped at the back of his head. The door was slamming behind him when he dove over the couch and came up onto his feet on the other side, turning around to survey the empty room and Massu blocking the door. He belatedly recalled that Nino and MatsuJun had mentioned having a Myojo photo shoot today.

"What the hell is your problem, Ryo?"  
"My problem? What's _your_ problem?"  
" _What?! You_ stole _my_ lunch!"  
"I had to. You've been walking around like a zombie for days! What the hell is wrong with you?" Massu was edging around the couch with that hard look in his eyes, Ryo circled the opposite direction to keep the barrier between them.  
"Nothing is wrong. I'm fine."  
"Lie."  
Massu clenched his fists and scrunched up his face. "Fine, I don't know. I'm. . ." He opened his eyes and fixed them on Ryo, "I'm _bored._ "

Suddenly Ryo realized why he recognized that look in Massu's eyes, the hard look, like a carefully banked fire. He'd seen it before; that look of holding back. It was the look Yoko sometimes got when he needed a good hard fuck. Ryo grinned, glad to have figured out what was wrong.

"You're not bored. You're frustrated." He dropped his guard to wipe some sweat from his brow and Massu was over the couch and had him backed up against the far wall, his hands fisted at the collar of Ryo's shirt, before Ryo could blink.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Massu demanded.

Ryo blinked, gulped, and rethought the methods Eito used to cheer up Yasuda. Massu had him pressed tight against the wall, his messenger bag digging in to the back of his hips and pressing them forward into Massu who was already getting noticeably aroused. No, Yasu liked it gentle. This would definitely be more like Yoko.

They were both breathing a little heavily and Ryo didn't think it was from the run. He groaned when Massu ground him further into the wall and leaned in further, his voice lower now when he asked, "Well?"

"You're just frustrated, Buta, that's all."

"I am not," it would have been a whine if it hadn't been so low, "I'm hungry and you took my lunch." Massu was barely a breath away from Ryo's face.

"Yeah." Ryo whispered.

Massu pulled him away from the wall to slam him back into it, "You don't even like fish," he accused.

"Nope." Ryo's eyes drifted half-closed.

"You ate it just to piss me off." Massu was panting right in his face.

"Yep." Ryo's mouth started to tingle the way it does when you share someone else's air.

"God, you still smell like mackerel." Massu breathed as he crushed their open mouths together immediately licking every surface he could get his tongue on; Ryo's lips, tongue, teeth. Ryo didn't really taste like mackerel but Massu didn't seem to care. He kissed Ryo greedily and hungrily.

It wasn't the most skillful kiss Ryo had ever received, but it was hot and wet and Massu's sudden passion was irresistible. He pulled back to breathe and saw that the banked fire in Massu's eyes had erupted into a full-out blaze. Ryo threw his head back against the wall and groaned when Massu's greedy mouth latched onto his neck.

Massu kept making "ah, ah" sounds as he bit at Ryo's neck and behind his closed eyes Ryo had a flashback to when Massu performed 'It's BAD' on Shounen Club. One vivid vision of Massu's hips thrusting into him like that had Ryo hard and pushing forward into the other man's well-muscled body.

Massu ran his hands down Ryo's chest and around his waist to grab his ass. Ryo could feel him hardening further. He dug his fingers into Massu's shoulder blades and pressed his nose to Massu's cheek until he abandoned Ryo's neck to reclaim his lips with another harsh and insistent kiss. He pulled back from Ryo but his hands kept massaging his ass. "Ryo, I. . ."

"Do you wanna fuck me, Buta?"

"Yeah."

"Do it."

"I don't have. . ." his eyes began casting about for something he could use on Ryo, this was Arashi's dressing room, there had to be lube stashed someplace, right?

"Ah, actually," Ryo chuckled, "I have some lube in my bag." Ryo pushed Massu away and pulled his messenger bag off, reaching into the pocket and producing a tube which he handed to Massu before he started undoing the younger man's pants.

"Why do you. . ." Massu trailed off into a groan when Ryo got his pants far enough undone to free his thick cock, wrap a hand around it and pull.

"It's customary to say-"

"Yeah, thanks," Massu said as he pushed Ryo back against the wall.

Ryo may have underestimated Massu's quickness because he didn't realize what Massu was doing before he was half out of his pants with Massu's hand lifting his naked thigh up around his waist and trailing slick fingers toward the crease of Ryo's ass.

"Fuck," he managed as Massu started fingering him. Massu's fingers are long and hard and surprisingly deft, plunging, prodding, stroking. He had Ryo whining into his mouth and thrusting back against his touch in what should have been an embarrassingly short amount of time except that it was Massu and Ryo didn't fear his judgement so he wasn't embarrassed.

He lifted Ryo up by his thighs, gripping hard onto the pant leg Ryo was still wearing because the sweat on his bare skin made him too slick to really hold onto.

"Ryo-" It's almost a question but Ryo isn't sure what Massu's asking and he can't really think about it hard enough to figure it out. _Is it really okay? Are you ready? Hard and fast?_ Whatever, either way the answer was his breathily moaned, "Yes."

Massu shoved into him in one motion and barely gave Ryo time to regroup before he moved, terribly slowly, out and back in a few times, moaning loudly, his body rumbling with it. Ryo could feel him quivering with restraint.

"Don't hold back, Buta."

Like a dam had broken, he abandoned the slow pace in favor of just the sort of thrusting Ryo had envisioned. He gave it to Ryo with everything he had. He buried his face in Ryo's shoulder and pounded him over and over. Ryo thought it was a little scary how hard Massu was hammering into him until he started to drop Ryo and hitched Ryo's legs up again.

Then the angle changed and Massu was pounding just as hard but now it was right against his spot, over and over. He was losing his mind. His hand found it's way between them without him thinking about it and he was pulling himself off.

Finally the heat pooling in his belly was too much and he came in hot streams all over his T-shirt. He may have started screaming Massu's name, he wasn't sure because he couldn't hear anything over the blood roaring and Massu grunting in his ear as Ryo's body clenched down on him and he pulled out barely in time to come on the wall behind Ryo.

Ryo took a deep breath when he realized that he was no longer having the life pounded out of him and his back was cold. He opened his eyes to find himself laying shirtless on top of Massu on the floor. His soiled tee in a pile beside them. "Do you feel better, Buta?"

"Yeah. You're not boring at all, Ryo-chan. Next time we'll do it slow. That'll be interesting."

"Next time?"

Massu pulled Ryo to the couch and pressed him into the cushions while he lazily kissed him and stroked his cock back to life.

 _The things I do for my group,_ Ryo thought.

~~Later on, Day Four: The way Arashi does it~~

Someone was poking Ryo in the shoulder and whispering in his ear. "Dude. Wake up or MatsuJun's going to do something nasty to you." _No one should have to wake up to Nino threatening them with MatsuJun,_ Ryo thought.

"Hey, Aniki."

"Shh! You'll wake him up!" Aiba stage-whispered from behind the couch.

Ryo looked up to see Jun's I-Am-So-Put-Upon Face and his own pants being shoved at him. "Put these back on and explain what you and your bandmate are doing on my couch."

"Umm"

"Besides having sex." Nino put in helpfully.

"Uh, Kei-chan thought he was depressed. I spent three days trying to cheer him up."

"You have been fucking him for three straight days?" Jun looked a little impressed.

"No. I started with giving him things. We only just had sex today."

Jun smacked him over the head. "Moron. Everybody knows you start with the sex."

Ryo glanced around the room to see four other heads nodding sagely, he was a little surprised to see even Sho agreeing.

"I'll, uh. . .I'll keep that in mind. Sorry about having sex on your couch."

"It's okay, it's not the first time." Ohno supplied.

"Also, I think maybe he came on your wall."

"That wouldn't be a first either," Nino said and Ohno blushed and ducked his head.

Sho spoke up from his perch across the room, "Stop petting him Aiba-chan."

"Oh, but he's so cute. Look at his little dimples. Can we keep him?"

"He's not a Junior, Aiba-chan. He's like 22 years old." Sho explained patiently.

"Damn. You're lucky to have him in your group, Nishikido-kun. He's cute."

"Hey!" Nino protested, "I'm still pretty adorable."

Ryo turned around to see Massu grinning his proper Massu grin in his sleep and snuggling into the couch. Everything was back to normal.

~~~~  
(Totally silly) Omake  
~~~~

~~Elsewhere in the jimusho~~

Shige walked in to the dressing room to see Tegoshi standing at the mirror with a flat iron and comb, doing something questionable to his own hair. "Where's everybody?"

"Umm, I don't know where Yamapi is. Ryo-tan and Massu are out. . .sick."

Shige raised an eyebrow "Sick?"

"Yeah. Ryo-tan ate Massu's lunch but it had gone bad. Massu took him to the doctor."

"The doctor?"

"Yeah. He'll probably be pretty uncomfortable tomorrow too." Tegoshi grinned.

Shige got the feeling that he was missing something but shrugged it off as he wrenched the flat-iron from Tegoshi and sighed, "What are you doing? Sit down. It's going to take me a half an hour to fix this."

~~~~  
end  
~~~~


End file.
